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hard times. vol. 5

by common cycles.

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1.
(i guess) i shouldn't but i do. 05:21
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you filled my cracks with gold I felt okay with growing old hand in hand - in sand and snow beauty, never let me go. it's been many long weeks since the days have turned this bleak and your behind my eyes still bringing relief and I'm right where you left me I guess I shouldn't, but I do miss you see everything we could've been torn from us in crumbling disease I was templed in your body like a g-d and then tossed away like the black spit in your cough it's been a couple of long years since I've been choking back these tears and your behind my eyes still bringing me grief and I'm still right where you left me I miss you, la lune
2.
dg. 04:10
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I love the way you dance with me to no music at all in the morning I love the way the light shines on your shoulders when you wake up next to me the best thing about my dream girl is she's there when I wake up the best thing about my dream girl is she's real I love the look in your eyes when they stare into mine and crumble ancient walls I love the way you dance with me to the beat of our synchronized hearts you're cute I think I'm in love with you
3.
it's may, and i'm lonely (i wish i could sleep). 03:27
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my eyes wandered pathetically searching for some sign this was temporary only in my dreams... my mind pondered romantically yearning for some sign this was temporary only in my dreams... I wish I could sleep that's where you always come back to me only in my dreams my heart is swollen, fully knowing what it's place was and that I was only temporary only in my dreams do you come back and I hate that these dreams are fucking temporary
4.
the lying to myself blues. 02:10
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why am I stuck in this headspace? it's bound to ruin everything... I can't keep a grasp of the thought that I'm good enough for this I hope that I'm wrong (I know that I'm wrong) but I still can't shake this feeling that I'm gonna lose it all and it's gonna be my own fault enough's enough of this lying to myself I don't know what you see in me piece by piece I'm really losing but don't worry I can't hurt you I'm only into hurting myself You know you wanna leave I'm not good enough, and I'll never be. I'm not worth it, I promise
5.
sad magique (the sweetest disease). 03:17
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this has somehow come to feel all but deflowering these nights that I'm wild-eyed, and restless my head's hollowed out, you can hear the echoes always feeling like I'm trying to get low the sweetest disease give it up, please don't ask if I'm okay and I won't ever ask you to stay the seeds of my dreams - never watered, all hot and bothered this light's too bright, it burns my eyes my head is screaming so loud you can hear the echoes always feeling like I'm trying to get low the sweet disease give it up, please don't ask if I'm okay and I won't ever ask you to stay to stay and get low with the sweet disease lost in the fog, and never really free it's all a dream
6.
second star to the right, and straight on 'til nothing. 01:52
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feel like I get up good feel like I start out bad feel as if I'm way too fucking old for this feel like I'm too young to know anything at all feel like my whole life is behind me feel like the path is dark and right in front of me feel everything so real, but it doesn't feel real at all feel like I need to get away feel like I need to stay feel like I've lost my grip feel like I was fucking dumb for ever thinking I'd had it oh no I don't yes I do no I fucking don't feel like I need two... oh, fuck - I don't know feel like I need to get high feel like I need to go to rehab feel like I'm fucked feel like I'm fucked feel like I'm fucked feel like I'm fucked feel like I'm clear headed and just hating it feel so clouded, can't grasp anything feel like I'm gonna fuck it up feel like it's gonna fuck it up to me feel like I'm too dumb to help myself feel too smart to feel that way feel like a fucking wreck feel like a statue feel like a ship feel like a cloud feel like I'm grey feel like I'm heavy with rain feel like I'm made of cement feel like it's happening again feel like I can't let it... feel like I have no choice.. feel like I never believe myself feel like I never believe in myself feel like I'm worth everything found in nothing feel like I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay... but it's okay...
7.
problemaddict (i'll run to you) 04:48
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the doubt I carry will surely leave me without a trace disappearing acts, like a freak dance into the shadows - to be erased burying myself into an effigy that symbolizes cowardice and self-pity so I'm bowing out I'm giving up and history repeats I've got problems I'll do my best not to burden you with them I'm sorry that I think that I should go I know it won't solve anything but I don't know what else to do that's why I'm running from you the liquid courage is only hurting, and burning me alive and if I can't stop myself from pouring - I don't want you caught in the crossfire of the battle between me and myself I know it feels like I don't wanna try but I'm scared of putting you through hell so I'm bowing out I'm giving up and history repeats I know that this will be the biggest mistake of my life but if we're ever to be happy I need to get my shit right I've got problems and now I swear I'll do my best to snuff them out I've finally found myself and now I think I can love you with the weight of the earth and everything I've earned with you will fully feel deserved and I'll fully deserve you and I'll run to you I'll get my shit together and run to you I'll run to you..
8.
revolver. 04:21
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all I see is you and the way you sparkle with your cloudless skies and your ocean eyes all I see is you and the way you dance with the stars around ya and I'm your satellite I'm your satellite you are my world I'll always revolve around you you are my world and I'm your satellite I'll always revolve around you til I fall from your sky all I feel is you the lovely gravity of your moon you hold with a string like a kite all I want is you I don't care how wrecked I get if I fall from your sky I'm your satellite til I fall from your sky into your eyes I'm your satellite
9.
in the dirt where we once loved each other (kensal park). 02:12
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bury my heart at kensal park so it will rest among the youth it once knew my frozen creek my house of lemonade bury my heart at kensal park after it has grown and shown it's true size my other name my innocent grace eternal the child within this old man without darkness resting in the dirt that made him bury my heart at kensal park so you will never have to ever wonder how I'm feeling because you know that like your place in my heart that this will always be home to me this will always be home to me you're home to me
10.
a ballad to the one who broke me. 05:22
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good intentions and my weak will to live I bat my lashes while I wait for death and I won't sing any melody of what becomes of you and me scatterheart she always leaves me in the dark she doesn't know what she wants I'm your conscience cleaned it really means nothing to you I'm left to be in the dark and unseen with nothing left to do scatterheart, she always leaves me in the dark because now she knows what she wants and it's not me a wasted waste of love a wasted waste of life this wasted waste unloved a wasted light within g-d and the devil are slitting my wrists why does she treat me like this I need a new god because this one keeps breaking my heart a wasted waste of love a wasted waste of life a wasted waste you should forget or keep under your breath just keep me under your breath you look at everything different when it's gone...
11.
late nights / early graves (this lil' light o' mine) 04:28
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oh, beautiful mistress of shivers I don't know how much longer I can survive here I'm starting to become too bitter I don't know how much longer I can survive here was this all a mistake? I'm at our love's wake, and I'm ready to break. was it really so wrong? I'm at our love's wake, and trying to come to terms with the fact it's dead and gone. love's the worst drug to be hooked on sleepwalk off a cliff my drink should be stiff stuck in a world of what ifs my drink should be stiff this little light of mine I'm gonna snuff it out this little light of mine I'm gonna snuff you out

about

and the fucking cycle continues.

these are the hard times songs I wrote over the course of the last 8 years that aren't fucking terrible. these are all one shot-go recordings. they're emotional, and harsh. judge me if you'd like but I was sad and am also still currently sad so fuck you. <3

----------------------------------------------------

credits

released August 9, 2022

me... all alone
in my many different bedrooms over the course of the last 8 years.

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common cycles. Montreal, Québec

It's just a bunch of love songs. Some are happy, and some are dreadful.

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